Review: The Marriage Clause by Alexx Andria

the marriage clauseTitle: The Marriage Clause

Author: Alexx Andria (I see what you did there!)

Mills & Boon imprint: Dare

Year of publication: 2018

The heroine: Marketing executive Katherine Oliver

The hero: Billionaire CEO Luca Donato

The blurb: Katherine Oliver is not interested in getting married. The only problem is she can’t keep her hands off gorgeous billionaire Luca Donato, who wants to put a ring on it! So she puts Luca to the test in an X-rated battle of wits—to persuade her that their nights of passion can turn into something more!

Standalone or series: Book one of the Dirty Sexy Rich series, but can be read as a standalone

The review: Well. Let’s start with the positives, shall we? I liked that the action was set in San Francisco, a city I love. I also like the cover.

Okay, let’s make a list of the negatives.

1. The protagonists were not particularly likeable, and by the end I couldn’t have given a rats as to whether they ended up together or not. Katherine might have pretended to try and live a life without privilege, but she folded like a cheap tent after a couple of hours of charity work.

2. Katherine was referred to Luca’s runaway or wayward fiancée four times in the first six pages. Yep, we got the hint.

3. When she was 16, Katherine signed a contract that she would marry Luca to merge the two family fortunes. Is that even legal? How can a 16 year old sign a contract for an arranged marriage?

4. In one scene, Katherine said she’d felt “dumber than a box of hair.” I thought this was an interesting analogy; who puts hair in a box? I’ve heard of being dumber than a box of rocks, but not hair.

5. I get that when you’re writing a sex scene, there’s only so many euphemisms you can use to describe genitalia. But I promise you that I could have lived my life without reading about the heroine’s vagina being referred to as her ‘southern mouth’. I’m going to let you mull that over, because I can’t even.

6. Katherine apparently withdrew all of her money from her accounts before she took off, so there was really nothing stopping her staying away if she failed to go through with the marriage, even if her father cut her off. She talked and talked about wanting her freedom and not wanting to be his wife and part of his family, but she had the opportunity to go… and didn’t.

I wanted to like this book, I did. I always want to enjoy the books I read, but this one? A big miss, sadly 😦